My visit to the Israeli Consulate

I just returned this afternoon from a day in Miami, where I picked up my JAFI approval and delivered it to the Consulate along with my passport. They say I should receive the visa within a few days.

In retrospect it was probably not the best idea to wear a fully loaded 22 pocket Scottevest travel vest to the consulate. The officer asked me to empty my pockets but the one little tray he put out was rapidly overflowing. He asked if I had anything that could be used as a weapon and I said that sometimes I had a nail file but I could not immediately find it, so I said I must not have it with me. Later, when he said I could retrieve the items from the first tray, I noticed the nail file, and pointed it out to him. By this point I don't think he cared; he was busy with an item in tray number three. He asked, "What are these?" as he held up a container of brushpicks. I told him they were for the teeth, but he looked like he just couldn't grasp why such a thing would exist.

Then came the purse. You may wonder why I would be carrying a purse when I already had 22 pockets full of necessities. Indeed I usually do not carry a purse, however, the purse was not to hold purse-type items, but rather my Acer netbook (a miniture laptop perfect for travel). The consulate officer asked me to turn it on and open a document on the hard drive. I said I didn't think I had any documents on the hard drive because I keep my documents on my Mac. So he asked why I would bring this computer instead of my Mac. I explained that the Mac does not fit in a purse and the Acer is for travel internet use. He got the same look as when he learned about the purpose of brushpicks.

Then the officer wanted me to turn off my phone and ipod. When leaving home my nano had a dead battery so I grabbed my i-touch. I usually do not take it because it behaves as if it has a mind of its own; it doesn't like to stay properly shut off, so it turns itself back on. It did this a couple times at the consulate and as I was apologizing about the trouble getting it to stay off, the consulate officer looked away as the screen again lit up, and said to me, "it is off now - it is okay."

All in all, the most offensive item I had turned out to be a calculator. I had not even realized I had one. It is built into a multi-pocket leather portfolio I had brought along that was holding every document I had previously provided for my Aliyah application - just in case. He had to lock the portfolio into a secure room while I was on the premises, all because of the built-in calculator. I guess I should try to cut the leather and remove the calculator so I can use the portfolio without worry that it will cause a stir. I will do that right after I give the i-touch away to my daughter, and go out and purchase an emory board, with which to replace my nail file.